A08. Understanding the Desperate One

Almost all of us know at least one person who desperately keeps searching for a companion; someone that he/she can date. Such people are often been referred to as the desperate ones. Maybe you’re a desperate one. There’s no shame in being a desperate one as, as a matter of fact, almost everyone becomes the desperate one at least once in their lifetime. One can become a desperate one several times in his/her lifetime. Usually, one becomes the desperate one in his/her late teenage years or in the initial post teenage years. Strangely, despite the fact that all becomes a desperate one at least once in their lifetime, the desperate ones are often been disliked.


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What are the desperate ones so desperate about?

While the desperate ones desperately keep searching for a companion, it’s not a companion that a desperate one is craving for. A companion, to a desperate one, is a source to what he/she is craving for. Almost all the desperate ones have a craving for love and a companion is their means to feel loved.

How to spot the desperate one(s)?

Now that everything is available online, it has become really easy to spot the desperate ones. If a person frequent dating sites, if a person has numerous dating site applications on his/her phone, if a person who’s a straight male/a lesbian/a bisexual hits on random women on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/ Any-other-social-networking-site-or-app or if a person who’s a straight woman/a gay/a bisexual hits on random men on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/Any-other-social-networking-site-or-app, he/she is likely to be a desperate one.

Where do the desperate ones often go wrong?

We all are a victim of stereotypes and as a result of this, whenever we talk of love, we picture the ‘couple love’ instead of any other form of love like the love of a mother/father for his/her child or the love of an individual for his/her siblings or the love of an individual for his/her friends.


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I’m of the opinion that a desperate one is who does not love himself/herself enough. In order to fill this gap, he/she desperately searches for someone who can make him/her feel loved. One does so because of the stereotype that makes us picture the ‘couple love’ when we hear/read the word ‘love’. Many-a-times a desperate one dates several people and yet, none succeeds to make him/her feel loved.

A desperate one has to love himself/herself enough to fill the gap that’s been created by him/her. Unless you do not love yourself enough, regardless of who you date, you will be the desperate one. There maybe someone who you will date and you will think that it is he/she who is filling the gap but he/she will be doing so by making you love yourself.


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Also, I am of the opinion that one should date someone only when one loves himself/herself as I see no sense in expecting others to love you when you cannot love yourself.


If you’re a desperate one, do not depend on others to make you feel loved. You have the ability to love yourself. You have the ability to fill the gap that’s been created by you.


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Accept yourself as who you are. You are not perfect because perfection is unattainable. If there are flaws in you, accept them and then work on them in order to improve yourself. You can either cry over your flaws or work on your flaws. The wise would work on his/her flaws. Choose to be wise.

Once you’ve accepted yourself as who you are, you’ll be able to love yourself. When you’ll be able to love yourself, you’ll not have to depend on others to feel loved and then, you’ll no more be a desperate one.


P.S.: I am asking you to love yourself, not to make love to yourself.


8 thoughts on “A08. Understanding the Desperate One

    1. Thanks. 😀
      When I was posting this article on my blog, I was doubtful about the reliability of this article. I was worried about being wrong. I’m glad that you could relate to this article. Since you’ve been a desperate one in the past, you stand at a good position to decide if my opinion on the desperate ones is wrong. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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    Liked by 1 person

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