I’m a bachelor who’s a father to none and yet, I already feel a little attached to my wife and children even though I do not have a wife (and there’s none who I’d want to get married to) or any children. As a matter of fact, it’s very likely that you too are, or have been, like me. I find it really strange yet obvious that we develop affection for people we know nothing about!
I’m afraid that you’ve no idea of what I’m talking about. But I’m certain that in a moment or two you’ll be able to understand what I’ve been talking about until now. Do this: walk up to a child and speak negative things about his/her future spouse and his/her future kids. Such child is very likely to feel bad about all that you’ll tell him/her and he/she may even defend his/her future spouse and his/her future children even though he/she has no idea of who he/she will get married to in future or how his/her children would be. I know that many of you will consider this cute! Some may call it childish. But isn’t this also amusing? Such child can be as little as a 10 year old and yet, by the age of 10, he/she would’ve developed a certain degree of affection for his/her future wife/husband and children.
This is precisely what the child would want to tell you if you keep saying negative things about his/her future spouse.
If you’re a bachelor or a spinster, and if you’ve no idea about who you’re likely to (or want to) get married to, I wouldn’t be surprised to see how you’ll feel when someone will speak something about your future wife/husband and your future children. In case of those who’ll never get married or have kids, such future spouse and such future children are not future spouse and future children but they instead are imaginary wife/husband and imaginary children. Even as bachelors or spinsters, you’d feel good if someone says positive things about your future wife/husband and you’d feel bad if someone says negative things about your future wife/husband. Though, the intensity wouldn’t be very high of how good/bad you’ll feel on comments made on your future wife/husband and future children.
Why do people develop affection for their future spouse and children even when they’ve no idea of who such spouse or how such children will be?
The answer to this question is: societal system.
Yes, the societal system! From the moment we’re born, we’re shown the relationship between a husband and a wife; we’re shown how a person feels about his/her spouse. We’re also shown how a person feels about his/her children. We’re been told that a person should love his/her spouse and children and that he/she should defend his/her spouse and children. Also, most of us believe that it’s most likely that we’ll get married someday and have kids. Thus, as a result, we feel inclined to follow such ‘already set’ standards. Like I often say, we’re all a slave of stereotypes! Hence, we develop affection for our future spouse and children even though we’ve no idea of who we’ll marry or how our children will be only because, as per the ‘already set’ standards, we’re expected to be affectionate towards our spouse and children.