D1. The First Customer

One of the perks of being a bachelor staying away from home is the daily flexibility in routine and lifestyle. If you have a few friends in the city, chances are that you would stay over at their place every once in a while! So, on one of the days when I was returning from a friend’s house, I booked myself an Uber only to realise that I was their 1^st customer. I was in the middle of my working hours and I wanted to get home as soon as possible to resume work. I had to be in that traffic for close to an hour, so we engaged in some small talk.

I enquired about general things such as whether they were new to the city and where they were staying in the city; if they had friends/family in the city – they did have a few friends who were also starting out as cab drivers like them and were from the same hometown, they have responsibilities on their shoulders and this is their great opportunity to be of help to their family. The fellow seemed to be grateful and humble! I suggested that we could stop by at a sweet shop and I will buy him a box of his favourite dessert as a goodwill gesture as I was their 1^st customer. He insisted that it should be him who should pay as I was his customer and he is grateful for that. The humbleness in the man’s mannerisms was apparent. He had a good heart!

I was on a call throughout the ride, a work call in a work from home world, so we could not speak much during the journey. But as we neared my destination, I asked him to stop and I got off the call to buy something for him. I bought chocolates and got some cash in exchange for money transferred through the UPI (what a great tech!). When I returned to the cab, which had luggage I was carrying with me, I did not find the driver in or around the car! I looked around but I could not find any sign of him. I heard a voice after a few seconds; it came from the same store I had gotten out of just moments ago! It was the driver and he had gone to the store to get something for me as well.

We exchanged hands. I gave him some chocolates and cash/tip as a goodwill gesture. He gave me a bar of chocolate as well, out of endearment and gratitude. It was quite an experience. He dropped me at my destination, I wished him good luck and we bid adieu.

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I may never see him again, but it’s good to know that he will have a good memory to remember the moment by!

[Product Appreciation] (1) Third Wave Coffee; and (2) FreshMenu.

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Today, I ordered a French Vanilla Latte (it was creamy and smooth), European Ham & Cheese Bagel (this was cold but still good) and Classic Pancakes (which were very thick, fluffy and soft with maple syrup, butter and whipped cream on the side) from Third Wave Coffee.

I also ordered a High Protein English Breakfast (which had mashed potatoes, sausages and omelette) and a Spinach Corn Whole Wheat Sandwich from FreshMenu. Both of these were cold as well; I wish they could warm these up before delivery!

Consider this breakfast option if you have access to a Third Wave Coffee or FreshMenu store nearby, or if you can have it delivered to your doorstep!

A58. A Moment of Joy

Do you remember the last time you got so engrossed in a moment of absolute joy that everything apart from that moment ceased to exist for you? You were fully present in the moment, and it felt as though the present moment was the only real thing?

I do not remember when I last experienced such a moment. However, I had the pleasure of witnessing such a moment last weekend. The moment was a reminder of what I have been missing out on and I want to write about it before I forget it.

My cousin sister got married last Saturday (November 20, 2021). During the wedding ceremony, the bride and the groom sat on a lovely stage decorated by flowers for performance of the wedding rituals. The stage was surrounded by guests – close relatives and friends – seated on couches and chairs. After completion of the wedding rituals, the bride and the groom, who had been fasting throughout the day, went to have dinner with the guests.

The floor of the stage was covered in flowers showered upon the newly married couple during their wedding ceremony. As the adults enjoyed dinner, a group of unattended kids, who were barely 10 years old, on finding an opportunity for mischief, took possession and control of the unattended stage; they made a playground out of a wedding stage. The kids pulled down flowers hanging by a thread between the four pillars around the stage. A kid found an empty cylindrical glitter bomb, filled it with flowers lying on the floor and then waved the glitter bomb over his head to throw flowers up in the air. The group picked other empty glitter bombs lying around the stage to join in the act, got on their knees in their newly bought ceremonial clothes, filled the empty glitter bombs with flowers on the floor, waved the glitter bombs around their head and giggled as several flowers fell on them.

The kids repeated the act over and over again, and giggled as they enjoyed a shower of flowers; like kids playing with snow. They jumped and laughed, filled the air with flowers and joy and laughed as flowers fell over their faces. They neither got bored or tired of the act nor did the intensity of their joy decrease as they repeated the act. They were so lost in the moment that they barely took note of their surroundings. Several guests returned from dinner and occupied the empty couches and chairs. Yet, even with people around, the kids were barely affected and stood engaged in their play. It was as though they did not care about anything in the world except to have fun in that moment; as though they did not have any other thought, or any other activity/place/person to run to, or any worry.

Three old women, probably in their 80s, sat at a distance, watching these kids play and giggle among themselves. The sight made these women giggle too; as though the joy and energy was contagious.

It was a very simple everyday moment perhaps. However, to me, it was quite a sight! They are able to squeeze so much joy out of such a simple act! I have barely been fully present in any moment lately. It feels less like a choice and more like a long lost skill now. The same may be true for you (the reader). But to these kids, it was the most natural thing.

A57. A Better Dialogue Against Communal Divide?

Discrimination against and ill treatment of any community should not be allowed or encouraged in any manner. 

While it’s important to have an open dialogue on incidents of discrimination and ill treatment, our dialogues need improvisation for them to advance to effective decisions. Communities in India have been feeling and experiencing discrimination and ill treatment. However, the feeling has been constant and is lately getting more intense due to the recent social and political events. Therefore, outspoken members of different communities have been actively advocating for their beliefs in relevance to the subject. But, it’s only leading to further division and unrest instead of unity and peace. 

(Disclaimer: The below mentioned has been repeated time and again by different individuals. It only implies that we need to be reminded of it time and again, which is okay. But, once we become aware of it again, we must stick with it as it goes on to define how mature we are as a country.) 

Our conversations as of now are focused on “us v/s them” mindset. While the mindset does not absolutely need to be discarded, it certainly needs to be well placed; as of now, it’s misplaced. 

The conversation needs to get from how one community is mistreating the other to how a category of people from one community are mistreating a category of people from another community. It’s important to acknowledge that the members of a certain community which are ill treating members of another community do not generally treat members of their community well either except strictly for personal gains. 

In other words, if we are going to have an “us v/s them” conversation, we need to define who falls under “us” and who falls under “them”. So, when a person says that Muslims are discriminated against and ill treated by Hindus or vice versa, it’s important that we avoid putting an entire community under one blanket and target specific people without labeling them as per the community they belong to. We need to talk about how the powerful treats the less powerful/powerless. We need to talk about how specific people are having difficulty in accepting diversity in the society and are mishandling their emotions and authority instead of suggesting that these people are but representatives of their communities and their actions speak for their communities. We need to talk about how a specific person or specific people are influencing a community/communities for their personal gains. The only way any characteristic can be attributed to an entire community is when a majority of its population is embodying such characteristics and sometimes it’s even important to understand why a greater population of a community may be behaving a certain way and address it empathetically, logically and compassionately.

More importantly, we need to understand that when one targets an entire community, one also offends an entire community and people move from offense to defense too quickly. Is that ever really necessary? Instead, it’s important for a community to disassociate itself from people who discriminate against and ill treat members of other communities. If a community cannot do so by itself, other communities should extend help in that regard instead of making them associate themselves with such people especially when such people will seek support of their community by suggesting how the attack is but on the entire community. A better approach, of course, would be when such people who discriminate against and ill treat are not attacked at all and instead helped to gain a better perspective; most of such people will stop discriminating against and ill treating others the very moment they aren’t rewarded for it but instead are at a loss because of it.  

Otherwise, we are basically engaging in a tug of war between communities and primarily focusing on a shift of power. One may argue that a shift of power is necessary but then the entire exercise becomes politically motivated. If a shift of power is necessary, it needs to be distributed equally instead of from one category of people from a community to another category of people from another community.

The aforementioned has been repeated time and again by different individuals. It only implies that we need to be reminded of it time and again, which is okay. But, once we become aware of it again, we must stick with it as it goes on to define how mature we are as a country.

A56. Fear

The night is quiet,
The room: dark.
I’m sitting alone;
Lost in silence.

It seizes the opportunity;
Walks in without making a sound.
It sits right beside me,
Leaving me oblivious of its sheer presence.

It whispers, lightly;
Lighter than air!
As though the voice is coming from me.
As though, the voice is but my own.

It whispers,
“This is all that you shall ever be.
This is all that you can ever be.
This is all you will always be.”

It repeats itself.
Again. And again.
And again. And again.
And again.

It repeats itself so many times,
At last, I blurt out in silence,

“This is all that I shall ever be.
This is all that I can ever be.
This is all I will always be.”

A55. Leadership inspiring Leadership and Slavery inspiring Leadership

There are two kind of leaders:

                1. Leaders who inspire leadership; and

                2. Leaders who inspire slavery.

I have had the experience of working with leaders who inspire leadership and under leaders who inspire slavery. Please pay attention to the way I’ve used the words ‘with’ and ‘under’ in my last sentence as that speak volumes about the two leadership styles.

A slavery inspiring leadership creates a stress stimulating environment under which one seldom sees an opportunity to grow. Under such leadership, all employees focus their energy on pleasing their leader. A leadership inspiring leadership creates a creativity stimulating environment. Under such leadership, people can function as a community and focus their energy on actually doing their work the best way instead of spending their time to please their leader.

Leaders who inspire slavery are narcissist. Such leaders have a superiority-inferiority complexion and derive their self-worth from their possessions, social influence and how people treat them. Such leaders are also bullies. Do you know why a bully bullies? Bullies bully to feel powerful and in control. While most think that bullies bully because they have been bullied, everyone who gets bullied does not become a bully. Bullies do not process their emotions well. A slavery inspiring leader confuses employment with ownership. Under such leadership, employees never feel as though they’re a part of the organisation and the leader does his/her bit to ensure that his/her employees know that they’re just employees of the organisation. Such leaders are trainers.

Leaders who inspire leadership are empathetic and have a high self-esteem. Such leaders offer people space to grow and are unafraid of the competition that other’s growth would bring along. Such leaders are willing to delegate responsibilities as they are aware of the potential and limitations of themselves and others. Such leaders are inclusive and make everyone working with them feel just as much a part of the organisation as the leader himself/herself is. Such leaders are educators.

Leaders set the tone of and culture at their organisation. Often, the culture of an organisation is but a reflection of the values of its leader(s). However, it’s important to realise that a leader does not have to be in a leadership position to lead. Everyone in an organisation has the power to inspire change. Often, the ones who are worthy of a leadership position are those who can lead without a title. A true leader is aware of and exercises his/her ability to inspire change.

I’d love to know your opinion on this subject. So, if you’re reading this, do comment on the post.

A54. Burns in the Shadow of His Own Shine

Look, look, look,

They say,

.

He had set out to light the world,

And today, the mighty boy

Burns in the fire he once lighted;

He burns in the shadow of his own shine.

.

Look, look, look,

They say,

.

The mighty boy weeps like a helpless child,

But even his stream of tears do little to

Lighten the rage of his fire;

The fire himself is turning to ashes.

.

Look, look, look,

They say,

.

He’s a phoenix,

He shall rise from the ashes.

He shall burn bright again to light the world,

Like he does everytime he burns to ashes.

A53. What Are You Wearing?

Personality is the impression that you cast upon people of who you are: it’s the way you present yourself to the world. Character is who you are. Regardless of what you do, your character will always find a way to reflect itself in your personality.

Your clothes can reveal a lot about who you’re. Actually, every way in which you express yourself can say a lot about who you are. However, this post is about what your clothes can reveal about you. It’s interesting how, a study of fashion is also a study of human behaviour.

Have you come across people who wear everything of the same colour? Maybe it’s a man who wears a white shirt with a white trouser? Maybe even his shoes are white! Maybe, even his fashion accessories are white. I’ve a theory: maybe, this is a reflection of alignment in their thoughts and actions; in who they think they are and who they are. This can also be a reflection of the kind of thoughts and beliefs that they have; maybe, their thoughts and beliefs are of the same shade.

 

Some people wear colours of similar shades: they pair light colours with light colours, bright colours with bright colours and dark colours with dark colours. I think that this reflects a similarity in their thoughts and beliefs. Perhaps, in their mind, several thoughts and beliefs of similar shades coexist. Also, this can be a reflection of similarity in who they think they are and who they are.

Have you seen anyone who likes to pair contrast colours? Maybe, the preference to pair contrast colours is a reflection of contrast thoughts and beliefs. Maybe, thoughts and beliefs of contrast nature coexist in their mind. Maybe, there’s a contrast in their thoughts and actions; in who they think they are and who they are.

A study of history of fashion can reveal a lot about the change that human behaviour has been going through. A few decades ago, pairing same colours was in fashion. A few years ago, pairing similar colours was in fashion. Lately, I’m seeing too many people pairing contrasting colours.

What do you think about what people wear reveals about them?

 

 

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Disclaimer: The above mentioned theories are just theories, not facts. This post is written with the intention of initiating a conversation on what people wear reveals about them. Thus, if you’re reading this, please care to comment.

A52. The Devil Smiled

The night is gloomy;

The streets are quiet.

As the wolves howl,

The moon hides behind the clouds.

 

Alone,

He stands in the darkness,

As though he’s the darkness.

There’s still light in his eyes,

As though there’s still hope for him.

 

A Demon appears behind him,

With a dagger in his hand,

Shouting,

“Kill! Kill! Kill!”

 

The Devil turns around;

There’s fire in his eyes.

He pulls the Demon by his collar, and,

With his wicked smile, whispers,

“Burn them all alive!”

 

 

 

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PS: I take no credit for the image featured in this post.

A51. Constitution of Aditya Solanki

Article 1

Treat everyone equally. Be humble, respectful and honest with and to everyone.

 

Article 2

Speak less, listen more.

 

Article 3

Live in the moment, be in the now, feel deeply and make mistakes.

 

Article 4

Be conscious of how you’re spending your time and money. Choose investment over expenditure.

 

Article 5

Learn daily, spend time with yourself, build good habits and be consistent.

 

Article 6

Sleep enough, just enough! Take care of your body and mind. Listen to your heart. If you cannot hear the voice of your heart, shut the noises around and in you.

 

Article 7

Shine and let your brightness give light to others. See the good in people and invest in them.

 

Article 8

Push yourself in situations which can make you feel your heart beating against your chest: situations in which you feel excited and afraid at the same time. Be uncomfortable.

 

Article 9

Believe in yourself. Be bold, kind and courageous.

 

Article 10

Say what you want to say in the simplest of words.

 

 

 

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I’m currently reading Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. In one of the chapters of the book, the writer advices the readers of the book to write a constitution for themselves: a set of principles and guidelines that one shall abide to. After writing a constitution for myself, I thought that it would be a good idea to declare it to the world so that, every time I violate any of the Articles of my Constitution, I can be made accountable for it.

 

 

A50. Home Without a House

Scene 1:

The sky is getting dark and everyone is returning to their house.

He’s sitting on the edge of the road, facing me, oblivious or perhaps least bothered of the danger he’s in: a vehicle can run into him at any moment. He has a packet of food in front of him. I’m sitting outside a café, with a friend, having coffee and a conversation which seems to be shifting from one topic to another. As I see this man, in clothes which are torn and dirty, owning the space he’s sitting in, I wonder if he thinks that he’s sitting in the dining room of his house; he certainly is behaving that way.

He is having his meal with ease, taking his time, cherishing every bite of the food that he’s having. I do not see concern in his eyes for what people around him would think of him. He seems happy and content. He’s probably a homeless man. However, from where I can see him, he’s a man without a house but he has found a home in the space he’s sitting in.

Scene 2:

I’m taking a walk, late in the evening, trying to organize the thoughts on my mind.

I see a group of children sitting on the pavement around a small screen. It appears to be a TV and the children are seeing a Bollywood movie on it. A woman is sitting just inches away from these children, preparing a meal for her family. She’s probably the mother of these children. It appears to be a scene of a regular household: the children appear to be in the living room of their house and the mother appears to be cooking in the kitchen.

As I walk a few steps, I see a group of women sitting on the pavement around another small screen. They seem to be watching a Bollywood movie or perhaps a TV soap. If we put bricks around them, this would probably look like a scene of a living room of a joint family or a neighborhood where everyone gathers at an individual’s house to watch TV and socialize.

Scene 3:

I’m in an auto rickshaw with a friend, waiting for the signal to go green, heading towards the railway station to board a train.

As I look out of the auto rickshaw, I see a woman lifting her child from a cradle. She’s on the pavement and the cradle is but a piece of cloth tied to the railing on the pavement. I see two kids running around the woman, wanting to play with the baby. As they see that their mother is busy with the baby, they climb onto the railing and into the cradle to swing on it.

They appear to be a happy family, engaged in the regular affairs of their day, oblivious of the onlookers. If a house does not require bricks and walls then this seems to be a scene of a family in their living room or bedroom. From where I can see, this is a family without a house but they seem to have found a home on the pavement.

 

Every time I play these scenes in my head, I can see a thick line between the word house and home. I’m fascinated by how these people have been able to create a home without having the luxury of a house. While house is materialistic, home is a feeling. One can be in a house and yet, not feel at home. One can be without a house and yet, feel at home. One can feel at home with a certain person or group of people. One can feel at home even when he/she is without a house and alone.

The people who live on the roads and sleep on the footpath are referred to as homeless, however, when I think of these people that I mentioned in the three scenes above, I wonder what I should refer to them as: homeless or houseless?

 

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FYI: I take no credit for the picture in this blog post. I found the picture on the internet and I chose to use it to help the readers of this blog relate to the content of the post.